The homework fight ensues again with the aggressive behavior and the meltdowns. You spend exhausting hours fussing and sitting at the table, throwing tantrums. It is complete drama. When will it ever end? These are the comments and questions heard by many counselors and therapists as well as educational resource personnel daily. The question remains. Does my child lack the skill or the will? Is my child being lazy, or are they truly struggling with learning issues? How do I know? The school says nothing is wrong, but I cannot do this anymore!
Dyslexia has as many as 9-12 types depending on which expert you ask. We do not address every type in the same manner. Dyslexia is usually defined as a processing issue of linguistic origin in a neurotypical person. There are also neurodivergent thinkers who struggle with the same cognitive weaknesses evident in dyslexic students of all ages.
The first step is to determine whether there is an authentic issue. We do this by getting an assessment of cognitive skills. Are their skills low across the board? Or are there gaps caused by interruptions in the learning process? These gaps are often seen with the Summer Slide and Covid Learning Gap.
The second step is understanding the underlying weaknesses. You need to choose an intervention model that will best suit the learner and the family. We want to get the most out of the precious amount of time that you have with a child in the learning process.
Dr. J. Stuart Ablon, in his book Change∙able, discusses how the lack of skill is the issue rather than a child willingly being defiant or lazy. Dr. Ablon is the Director of Think: Kids at Massachusetts General Hospital. In his book, he shares how collaborative problem solving and intervention can change lives at home, school, and work. Recognizing that weak cognitive skills (IQ) and weaknesses in emotional IQ can affect a person’s behavior whether the person is a child or an adult.
The ability to recognize and address the weaknesses is one key to making change in daily lives. Identifying the weaknesses in emotional and cognitive thinking processes helps us become more aware. Then we can reach out and get the help needed to address these underlying weaknesses. One video of his Tedx Talk, Dr. J. Stuart Ablon shares how training the skill boosts the motivation:
Another approach to this same principle is called Growth Mindset by Dr. Carole Dweck, Stanford psychologist. In her book, MINDSET: The New Psychology of Success, Dr. Dweck coined the term “Growth Mindset”. This mindset adopts the belief that talent can be developed with hard work, determination, and help from others. Those with a fixed mindset believe their intelligence and skills are innate. Innate skills cannot be improved upon. In her research, she was able to show that mindset matters and is trainable.
In her multitude of talks, books, and videos, she shares her thoughts and research on how our perspective on learning matters. Watch her video: Teaching a Growth Mindset.
The human brain is always growing, changing, and learning. Learning and growing should be a journey – a fun adventure. Learning is an ongoing process of life. Understanding one’s own strengths and weaknesses in this process is a particularly important piece of that process.
Back to the question: is it a learning issue or a laziness issue?
Aren’t they one and the same? Personally, I am lazy about doing the things that are hard and not enjoyable to me. Most of us are. We do them only because they must be done. Some of us put it off forever (procrastinators), while others just do it to get it over with (rushers). Learning should be about the joy of the process. School isn’t fun to those who struggle because of their skills.
Behaving, problem solving, dealing with difficult decisions, even cleaning the bedroom isn’t always about unwillingness. Many times, it is lack of skill not will. Again, that first step is the knowledge of skill. Is the child, teen, or adult who is having the difficulty unable to do or unwilling to do? How do you know? Have you assessed the abilities?
Dyslazia doesn’t have to be the way of thinking. Overwhelmed brains do not have to be the norm. Meltdowns and shutdowns should not be commonplace. Addressing the underlying weaknesses and being purposeful in our approach to others can be life changing for everyone around us.
If you or someone you love struggles with learning or behavior, no matter what their age, it is not too late nor too early. Intervention is possible. Reach out to community resources around you. Whether the person has a learning difference that needs to be addressed, or they need to address behavioral concerns, resources are available in our community.
For more information on brain training, contact the LearningRx Shreveport center. Call 318-797-8523 or email shreveport.la@learningrx.net. You can also sign up for our monthly newsletter here!
This article is by Donesa Walker, M.Ed., B.C.C.S., Owner and Executive Director of LearningRx Shreveport-Bossier. She has over 30 years of experience in teaching and educational administration. She opened LearningRx Shreveport-Bossier in 2008. She wanted to help families tackle the root issues behind dyslexia. Since then, both Donesa and her center have received a plethora of awards from local and national organizations. Donesa has published over 20 books and is currently pursuing a Doctorate in Psychology. This article was previously published in LOLA magazine and The Collective . I have made some changes to make the article more blog friendly.